Since the dawn of time, single women have always been ridiculed and considered inferior to married women. The expression "Crowning St. Catherine's" has its roots in a tradition that dates back to the Middle Ages and which put the "Catherinettes", women who had reached the age of 25 but had not married, in the spotlight. On November 25th dedicated to the feast of Saint Catherine, young women wore eccentric yellow and green hats, symbolizing respectively,faith and wisdom. They had to strut around with this hat all day long and made a pilgrimage to the statue of St. Catherine, asking her to intercede to find husbands so as not to end up as spinsters.
While these rituals have disappeared over time, society's image of single women has not really changed. The status of single women raises many questions for some people. Very often single women are victims of social pressure and the greatest pressure comes from their own environment. Their families who are supposed to support them are rather those who give them in marriage, sometimes even forcibly, just to please society. Isn't that revolting?
You may be the Queen of England, the most influential woman in the world, but you have no merit in this society if you are not married. Even today, unmarried women are catalogued and despised. When you're single, there must be something wrong with you. They will say about you that you don't know how to deal with men, you are a hard worker who scares men away, you don't have the characteristics of a good wife...etc. In short, when you're single, it's necessarily your fault!
We are in 2020, it's high time that mentalities change! At the time, men worked and women took care of the children, but nowadays women have the choice to make their choices. There are women who are just as passionate about their professional life as men are, and have decided to seize every opportunity available to them. These women are bright, educated, ambitious and are changing the world, but that means nothing until they change their marital status.
Why should being an accomplished woman be defined by that status?
All women deserve to be honoured and respected regardless of their marital status.
It is a fact that in our African societies, we are quick to point fingers at what is not yet accomplished in a person’s life rather than what is already accomplished. And this is always in comparison with one's own situation. No matter how much you tell them about your promising projects, your fulfilling job, your beautiful house, they will burn with envy to ask you the fateful question, to break you in your stride: « I'm glad everything is going well for you, but how is your dating life?when are you getting married ? » Embarrassed, you try to answer their question by telling them that you are still single. Others will go so far as to ask you, « What's the big deal, actually? »
As if not being married is a huge problem.
What is the purpose of all these intrusive questions?
Why this desire to undermine the success of single women by reminding them that they’re missing a ring?
Society is responsible for all the frustrations that single women have. They aren't supposed to apologize for not being Mrs. X or Y. They aren't supposed to feel unworthy. And they don't necessarily need a ring to shine. Don't project your own limitations on these strong and valiant women.
«If some people's only goal in life is to get married, their goal is elsewhere. And even though in the depths of their hearts they long for marriage, there is no need to remind them of it in a shameless way. »~MrsKiss Kay
Surprisingly, the married women that society idealizes may envy their unmarried peers in secret. When they realize too late that they have made the wrong choice of a life partner, they may be led to envy their unmarried friends simply because they still have a choice.
There are married women for whom marriage is so much of an end in itself, that they will be bothering your ears with their perfect husbands and great children. But in the end, it's all just a shield so that they don't face the truth, because making a single woman feel envious makes them feel better and gives them comfort in their not-so-perfect lives.
It is important for single women to make the discernment and surround themselves with true friends who wish upon their true happiness.
If some married women think they are on a pedestal because they wear a ring on their finger and voluntarily dissociate themselves from their single friends, it is up to single women to choose their friends wisely so that they do not have to suffer this inferiority complex.
An unmarried woman is a woman like any other, with her realities and challenges to be met on a daily basis. Marriage is a blessing of course, but it is not the ultimate goal for everyone.
On the clock of life, no one is ever late. Each person moves forward at her own pace.
An unmarried woman is the stereotype of a single person who will end her life with a pet. Yet, there are single women who have a very active social life, who travel around the world, who live a busy life. On the other hand, there are married women who feel lonely. It comes to show that when you are not surrounded by the right people, you will sometimes feel lonely, regardless of your marital status.
Of course, when you are single you always have to deal with the experts in love, the ones who’ve missed their calling as dating agencies, and who would like to help you meet the right person. These people are sometimes your friends who want to do the right thing but often do it wrong. They sometimes introduce you to people who do not correspond to your ideal man at all. But apparently when you are single you don't have the right to be selective.
They will say that they want to help you find your soul mate, but that you are being a little difficult. At the same time, no one asks them to take on this mission and solve your case.
A single woman isn't necessarily desperate and doesn't necessarily need a helping hand. Intentions are good at times, but it is important not to impose one's vision of doing things and especially to wait for the person involved to ask for your help.
You have to bury those backward ideas that a single woman is a disgrace. The shame must switch sides! It is the people who make them feel less than women because they are not married, who should be ashamed.
A single woman is not single because she has issues or more imperfections than a married woman. There are some things in life that you cannot control. You just have to be patient and wait for your turn in faith. Some married women have been lucky enough to find a man who has been able to accept them as they are, single women will also be that lucky when the time comes.
An unmarried woman is not a puzzle to be solved and does not always need your expertise. A sympathetic ear and support is all that is needed.
Women should be supportive of each other rather than trying to rule over their unmarried girlfriends.
Married women should be sincere in their relationships and honest about the difficulties of marriage rather than painting an ideal picture of marriage and misleading their friends.
Change will not happen overnight unfortunately, but by changing our perception we will be able to give the single women around us the consideration and respect they deserve.
Let's change our mentality today!