Marriage has always been considered as a proof of True love, a strong act that one makes by saying «YES TO A LIFETIME TOGETHER».
In the time of our parents, marriage was a way for a woman to leave her parents' home and live with her loved one.
For the man, it was a way to show his sweetheart that he had chosen Her among many others. Marriage was the consecration, to build a home and live happily ever after.
Today, we can see that marriage may not have the same value as it once did.
If young couples are numerous to tie the knot, they are also numerous to divorce.
If we take the case of Belgium, the country holds the world record in terms of divorces pronounced. Indeed, 71 marriages out of 100 end in divorce each year.
Source : Life Magazine Belgium
This staggering figure draws our attention to the reasons that leads to the «New Generation Divorces».
«New Generation Divorces», refers to the divorces of the new generation, a connected generation, perhaps a little too much under the influence of social networks.
What if social networks played a crucial role in these New Generation divorces?
Social networks are very innovative, it's a new era that allows us to seize opportunities, but the other side of the coin is not very bright.
Indeed, the fact of having access to a lot of content (Posts, stories, Live) published by relatives or even celebrities, could play on our appreciation of life, when we are weak-minded.
For example, you see a Live post on Instagram of a friend in BALI, this trip was offered to her by her husband as a birthday gift. In this case, there are two choices: Either you feel happy for her, or you develop a little frustration. You start comparing the incomparable and this could have repercussions on your life as a couple.
As much as social networks open our eyes to the world, we are also confronted with our limitations.
«We discover unsecurities that we did not have before, when we start comparing ourselves to others.»~MrsKiss Kay
In the old days, there was no internet, nor social networks, the only way to meet people was 3 blocks away, in one's surroundings. But with new technologies, it's a different story. You have a plethora of possibilities to meet, chat and more if you’d like. Everything is within reach.
This could explain why the first cause of divorce is adultery. It starts with a few likes, then a few comments, then a few heated conversations inbox, and you think that you're doing nothing wrong because it's only virtual, until your Husband/Wife comes across it. The damage is already done, the trust is broken, you are suddenly back to reality and you have to face the consequences of your actions.
If adultery is the main cause of divorce, there is also your inner circle that can be harmful.
It is clear that young couples are sometimes surrounded by friends who do not act in their best interest. When there are problems in your couple, the best thing to do is to talk to trustworthy people who will do everything they can to ease the tension. Some young couples are sometimes naive and confide in friends who would give anything to be in their shoes. These sort of friends do not hesitate to encourage them to get a divorce, even though they do not know the pain of being separated from their loved one.
Divorce is not always a solution, don't let yourself be influenced.
STORYTIME: I was on my lunch break at a local restaurant when I heard two women talking at the next table. They were talking so loud that it was impossible not to hear, even though I didn't want to know. One was complaining incessantly about her husband, with whom she had a child. He was supposedly unbearable, she was tired of having to cook for him, etc. And her friend was quick to tell her «But you don't have to cook for him, you're not his maid for God’s sake! From now on, you will cook only for you and your son and that's it! You need to think about yourself too, frankly you should divorce this guy!»
I was shocked by the violence of the words of this so-called "friend" who encouraged her friend to divorce. As much as it was useless for this woman to expose her life and deliver her husband to the popular vindictiveness, as much it was insane of her friend to advise her such radical methods. The fact is that those who were encouraging you to divorce yesterday, are able to ask you after a tedious divorce, how you got to this point today.
Having said that, bashing the Man/Woman of your life will always leave a bitter taste to your interlocutor. At the time it feels good to free your mind, but when you reconcile with your other half, the person to whom you have confided, will always keep a poor image of your Husband / Wife.
It is true that we are no longer in the old days, when it was necessary to stay married for the children, to keep up appearances, or to have financial stability since women did not work. However, it is important to measure one's words, to give wise advices to young couples in search of reference points, or simply to abstain. Because unfortunately, under the pressure of friends and family, many couples end up separating, even though they still love each other. What a pity!
We come from a generation that stood the test of time. When it didn't work anymore, they tried to repair it, and if they couldn't do it theirselves, they sent it to the customer service. They did everything they could to make things work again.
Nowadays, if it doesn't work anymore, we throw it directly in the trash. Perhaps the fact of being in a consumer society, plays tricks on us. We see our Husband/Wife almost as a product that we can shape to our liking. We have to make sure that He/She meets our expectations, otherwise we just have to choose another one from the range of possibilities accessible to us.
It seems that young couples have no more patience with each other. At the slightest misunderstanding, they are tempted to go in opposite directions.
Young brides find that men did not go to the right school: The School of Life. They don't know how to take care of themselves, let alone manage a whole family. They need a maid to take care of them ,rather than a life partner. They feel that they have to constantly play the housewife and the perfect wife to please them. They sometimes feel that they have men who think they can do whatever they want, men who have been so pampered by their mothers, that they have no sense of responsibility. Men who think that they should pass on all their whims out of love, closing their eyes to their infidelities, which are increasingly normalized by society.
As for the Young grooms, they see princesses straight out of a castle, their only goal is to make them princes who correspond to their criteria. And there are so many criteria that despite their efforts they will never be up to it. They see women so in search of equality between Men and Women, that the presence of a man in their lives becomes secondary. They are faced with women who have lost the true values that women used to have: Wisdom, Patience, Privacy, An unshakeable Faith in the future. At the slightest argument, all their girlfriends are informed, at the slightest storm, they seek another shelter. They are never happy with what they have, and always believe that the grass is greener elsewhere. They are more concerned about keeping up appearances, than tackling the problems that undermine the couple, especially the intimacy area.
It is true that marriage is a tough test, each person enters this adventure with his(her) past wounds, his(her) character, his(her) experiences that have allowed him(her) to develop a thick skin. It is not said that two people must be perfectly similar to succeed in their life as a couple. Differences can be seen as challenges to overcome, in order to succeed in agreeing with each other , and living a harmonious marriage.
Divorce is not equal to failure but it is not the ultimate solution. It is a decision that must be carefully considered.
Let's show patience and resilience as young couples.
Let's rather draw from new technologies and social networks, positive resources to strengthen the union and the Love in our couple.
Let's not let the virtual world stand between us and our Husband/Wife like a wall.
«Always prioritize what is real in your life over the virtual, because while you are in your virtual bubble, the real world is changing. And if you don't disconnect from this temporary world in time, it may be too late to pick up your real life where you left off.»~MrsKiss Kay
Pierre Corneille said «To well-born souls, value does not await the number of years.»
Let's prove to yesterday's generation that the young married couples of today are just as capable of building stable, happy and loving homes.