Friendship is such a fulfilling relationship that we sometimes forget that there is actually an END in FRIENDSHIP. This End can be premeditated or abrupt, as if it had been imposed on us by the force of fate. How do you move on when you have lost your friend, your confidant, that person who had such a big place in your heart?
We have all felt this pain that leaves us with a bitter taste of Friendship. Although it is a difficult step, we must mourn this lost friendship and learn from it, try to understand what caused this FRIENXIT.
FRIENXIT is a portmanteau word created to talk about "FRIENDSHIP EXIT", which I define as consciously withdrawing from a friendly relationship that no longer suits you or that has disappointed you. I was inspired by the term "BREXIT", referring to the process of withdrawal of the United Kingdom from the European Union.
The decision to end a friendship is not an easy one, but it is sometimes necessary. Many people lock themselves into toxic, insincere and unrewarding friendships. Why would you want to remain loyal to someone who has long since stopped being loyal to you? Why insist on having a relationship with someone who doesn't know your worth?
It’s an undeniable fact, that in our society, relationships between women are very complex, often very hypocritical, even close to witchcraft. Yet, women have very close relationships that are not always sincere, hence the trap. You have to make the difference between someone who appreciates your company and someone who appreciates you as a person.
To cite a few examples, imagine that you consider someone as your friend but deep down, she just sees you as a girl with whom she can party once in a while and take her mind off things, nothing more. It is a relationship that she maintains with you in order to respond to this specific need which is to be in your company.
Imagine that you say of a person that she is your friend but deep down you envy her lifestyle, her beauty, her charisma. In fact, you have gotten closer to her just to enjoy her luxurious life, her fame, expand your network. You’re preserving the relationship just to access a lifestyle that your social status does not allow you to have.
Without yielding to Paranoia, it is important to understand through these few examples, that people who offer you their friendships, sometimes have a well hidden agenda. If you are not vigilant, you will only discover their true faces once their machiavellian objective has been achieved.
Many women have such blind trust in their girlfriends that they confide in them all their couple secrets, their family secrets, their professional secrets, etc. For many of them, the girlfriend is always the good counsellor, the sympathetic ear, the one you can always count on and who will never betray you.
And yet, it happens that the famous girlfriend secretly envies you. She gives you bad advice intentionally, because she can't bear to see you happy.
That’s why ,you have to choose your friends wisely and be careful what you reveal to them.
Indeed, it is judicious to prioritize our friendships in order to protect ourselves. Where some will see pretension, it is rather a way of prevention.
Do not offer the keys to your secret garden to someone without really knowing them.
Do not expose your private life to strangers even if you have a great connection, and above all avoid throwing your loved ones out on the street, in the presence of someone you have just met, for this could backfire on you.
"Sometimes those to whom you open a breach, will close doors on you. " ~MrsKiss Kay
Always remember that not everyone gets close to you for the right reasons. It is essential to sort out your relationships to avoid major disappointments in friendship. Your friendship is valuable and must be earned.
Friendship is a strong bond that can be broken when it is put to the test. The worst feeling in friendship is realizing that the person you have always considered a true friend has never considered you the same way, or not to the same degree.
You may come to this conclusion, as a result of a significant event in her life to which she has not invited you. Or you may have been invited but not honored, after all these years of loyalty.
The feeling of having been mistaken about the intensity of the other person's friendly feelings is as painful as in Love. Frustration is even greater when you feel that you have given your best, only to deserve this little consideration.
The mistake we sometimes make ,is to think that people will treat us as kindly as we treat them. The greatest lesson in life is to understand that the good you do to others, will not necessarily come back to you. Friendship lasts when it is reciprocal and sincere, unfortunately this is not self-evident.
It is your choice to give someone a place of distinction in your heart, don't expect them to do the same.
"Friendship is like an acting scenario in which you can't force the other person to play opposite you, sometimes it's best to bow out." ~MrsKiss Kay
It is important to know that a friendship is very often based on common goals and values. When the people concerned are in symbiosis with these,the friendship glows. The challenge comes when they evolve differently, so there is no longer the constant that used to bind them together.One of the strengths of a true friendship is to constantly adapt to the other person, renewing commitment and loyalty, no matter which path one takes.
However, no matter how strong the sacred bonds of friendship are, the relationship takes a hit when it is not maintained. There is no time to send a message, to call the other person and check up on her. We no longer have time to show our commitment to the other.
The fact is that if you really care about a person, you will find ways to keep the flame of friendship alive, rather than making excuses.
We often think that our friends will always stay loyal to us no matter what happens, and yet after a while, it’s exhausting to always be the person who has to come to the news.
So we have to find a balance and spend time with our true friends, because they are worth it.
And even when conflicts arise, you have to put your ego aside and acknowledge the blame ,acknowledge your share of responsibility, in order to defuse the conflict and ease the frustration on both sides. Many beautiful friendships go up in smoke simply because no one has dared to question themselves and take the step towards the other out of sheer pride. What a shame!
After a revealing incident that made you realize that this friend wasn't who you thought she was, you have to accept it and take responsibility for your decision to withdraw from the relationship, in order to move forward. The longer you stay in denial, the more you will suffer.
We have to tell ourselves that some people come into our lives to teach us a lesson, and all this contributes to our rise.
When such a beautiful friendship comes to an end, it should not turn you into notorious enemies. On the contrary, you should keep good memories of the moments spent together, rather than ignore them. It is crucial to move forward lighthearted ,by getting rid of perpetual resentments and regrets. The best way to move on after a friendship that has deceived you, is to stop harbouring bad feelings towards this person, and free yourself by keeping the positive aspects of the relationship.
And of course, never lose hope , because life sometimes has surprises in store for us.
If someone is destined to be part of your life, fate will lead your paths to cross again, it’s up to you to seize this new opportunity to rebuild a sincere friendship on new foundations.